Ms. Stress

26Jan10

On the train flashing back to what just happened

A lot of the time my mind was absent

But this time I’m sure on something

——————————————

I didn’t tell him though

Didn’t think I needed to

Thought goodbye…

Explained it all

——————————————

Now, I’m thinking…

——————————————

If I was to tell him directly

what would I have said…

Vex I didn’t say it then…

——————————————

I don’t miss the guy in front of me

I miss the guy you used to be

——————————————

I’m holding you, squeezing you tight

Wondering if you can feel

——————————————

I can feel you but you’re not here man!

There’s no connection here!

——————————————

I’m looking into this man’s eyes trying to find the door,

I’m knocking but no one wants to answer…

Like, is this really us?

——————————————

And yeah,

I know the house inside and out

Though I’m in front of this house and I know its appearance,

there’s something that’s not the same.

I don’t feel any connection

This is strange.

——————————————

I’m looking at this man and I’m hoping he can see the want in my eyes

(stamps feet)

Come on!

It’s me!

I don’t think he can see…this is not the response I wanted

He used to get excited when he saw me

——————————————

Now he’s so blasé about me

I’m feeling so uneasy

——————————————

Playing house isn’t fun anymore!

I’m tearing up inside

I don’t want to undo me and you

I’m going out of my mind!

——————————————

You’re making me insecure and ashamed.

The lights are on but I really wish they were off right now

——————————————

I’m not supposed to be here…

I need to give the keys back

They don’t belong to me

——————————————

You and I are no longer what we used to be

Could it be?

Have I gotten over you

You used to belong to me

And I belonged to you

——————————————

I thought she took him from me

She never had him at all…

——————————————

(Surely, I’m meant to feel jealous but I didn’t at all

Is that a sign that your love doesn’t live here anymore?)

——————————————

I’m looking into this man’s eyes and for the first time!

I’m walking out the door

——————————————

Never.

Coming.

Back.

No more.

Look out for the follow up ‘On My Own’…

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4 Responses to “Ms. Stress”

  1. Girl I felt every word. Dynamic blog. You are wiser. You are stronger. Praise God.

    Candra

  2. A fulfilling end to a beautiful series! You’re now ready to begin a new chapter with a wiser, open heart.

    ~ living & loving ~


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